Monday, October 13, 2008

Worst Movie Going Experience Ever. Oh and a Review for Quarantine.

This review will be unlike any I have done in the past and I really hope I never have to write another one like it again. I'm going to talk about the movie, no doubt, but I also want to talk about the night that Dustin, Jodie, and I went to Seneca, South Carolina and had the worse movie experience EVER.

The night started off pretty good. We left early enough that we would have plenty of time to get from Toccoa, Georgia to Seneca, South Carolina. For those not from The Big Taco, the state line is like ten minutes from town, then it's like another twenty minutes to Seneca. The three of us were pretty chill. Just enjoying the ride.
We get to the theater and get our first chuckle of the night. There was a sign just propped up in the corner of a stairwell that said "Additional Parking". Of course we busted out laughing.
As we entered the theater we see a sign explaining that there will be no popcorn tonight because the "popcorn popper done blew up." Welcome to South Carolina, folks!
Dut and I go to the counter, he pulls out his wallet to pay for our tickets and the lady says "Are you students?" Dustin just looks at her dumbfounded and says "Uhh.. uhhh.. No!" That was a boost for our egos! We get our tickets and head up the ramp to the theater. We find our seats & start to sit down. Now I am a curvy girl. I have tits, hips, and ass. Dustin is a thin guy. Jodie is petite too. The seats in this theater were made for fuckin' Kate Moss on a coke binge. All three of us were claustrophobic in these tiny seats! Holy hell.
The previews start and they seemed a bit off. Kind of askew, if you will. Sad thing is, it never got any better. The whole time watching the movie the picture would slip down till you only saw like the tops of the actors heads. I went to complain, not once but twice! The second time they were all just sitting there in the office, staring at each other. They may have been high. It was horrible! So before I go into the actual movie review I want everyone to heed my warnings, AVOID SENECA CINEMAS 8!!

Now, on to the movie. Originally a Spanish movie called [Rec], Quarantine is about a news woman and her camera guy that are following around firefighters in LA for the night shift. They go out on a call and get mysteriously quarantined in this apartment building. Cool, huh? I thought so too. I was wrong.

Starring Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter, The Exorcism of Emily Rose), who was very good as the leading actress, I went into this movie with a tiny glimmer of hope. I never get my hopes up too high for new movies. Hollywood has dashed my hopes against the rocks too many times.

It was slow. The beginning was long and drawn out with way too much set up. By the time they finally got to the apartment building, I was bored and couldn't wait for something, anything to happen. When it finally did I figured out the plot twist right then. The rest of the movie was predictable, laughable and boring. The end of it had already been seen in the commercials and on the damn movie poster!

I know it was supposed to have a documentary feel too it but there was a time when the camera's movements were excessive. There was a time when they started to make Dustin nauseous. Jill, you couldn't handle it. It was like they were intentionally making the camera pan quick, zooming in and out for no reason. It did not help the film at all. I don't think anything on the screen did, however the jokes Dustin, Jodie and I cracked through out the movie did make it hilarious.

In the end, Quarantine wasn't great. The entire movie going experience wasn't great. My suggestion to you is just download the movie. Don't waste your money. Better yet, wait till they release [Rec] here in America and watch it. Can't be any worse than the Americanized version.



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UNINTENTIONAL HUMOR:PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

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Sunday, October 12, 2008

What's "Happening" Now?

If you have seen the adverts for The Happening, you know that this is M. Night Shyamalan's first R rated picture. This means that this Hitchcock-esq director will have a broader subject matter to delve into. There can be nudity, curse words, and blood galore. This should tickle any horror fan. I was super excited when I saw that he was given the chance to expand! Not only could this movie have all the bloody scares any horror buff could want, it also had some very promising actors. Needless to say I went into the movie expecting a thrill ride to rival any of his previous works. What I got, in my opinion, was something akin to a kiddie ride instead of a roller coaster.

Starring Mark Whalberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo, I went into this with promise. It was hard to see Mark Whalberg as a science teacher. I don't know why. He just didn't seem to fit. It was like he was trying too hard. The same with Leguizamo as the math teacher. It just seemed forced. They didn't give bad performances just unbelievable. Zooey Descanel was better but still a little stiff. The plot was interesting, but it felt like a bunch of environmental propaganda with some really cool suicides thrown in.

It was not really a slow film. It started off grabbing me, but as it went through all the odd happenings I found myself drifting, only perking up when the suicides would happen. "Hmmm do we have milk in the house? Do I have any clean towels? I really like cheese. Oh look! A guy in a lion cage!" I wish the film would have had a deeper explanation and maybe some more suicides. I will give them that. The deaths were fantastic! I enjoyed every one of them. Quite creepy. However according to Will, when the Private used the term "Cheese and Crackers!" that made it epic. I tend to agree that the term "Cheese and Crackers" is the proverbial "shit" I don't think it could save the movie.

All in all The Happening isn't a bad movie. It isn't a good one. It was a one time watcher. If You are in the mood for an M. Night movie I would suggest Unbreakable or The Sixth Sense over The Happening.






Sunday, October 5, 2008

My Reflections (God I'm Sorry) On Mirrors

Reflections have always seemed other worldly to me. Even as a child, I realized how magical those polished pieces of glass could be. I had a friend named "Lisa" that lived in the mirror that I spoke to all the time. It was later when I discovered they could be frightening. I blame Stephen King's short story "The Reaper's Image" for messing with my head. After I read that tale I covered all the mirrors in my room. When I read about this movie I was a little intrigued.

Directed by Alexandre Aja, I had high hopes for this movie. Aja has never disappointed me. His remake of The Hills Have Eyes is, in my opinion, one of the best remakes I have ever seen. Not to mention High Tension is a great thriller with a fantastic ending. Both of these movies I recommend highly.

Kiefer Sutherland plays a cop that has been let go from the force and takes a security position as night watchman for a burned out department store that was once an insane asylum. Now I know that sounds a bit hokey, but for some strange reason it works. Sutherland starts to see strange visions in the mirrors that are everywhere in this giant store. That's when it starts to get good.

The movie starts off with scares and never lets up. There were times when I found myself truly scared. Which is a big deal, I haven't had a movie scare me in a long time. It wasn't like little "cat" scares either. Oh no. These were honest scares. I enjoyed every one.

The effects are amazing and the story keeps you riveted. It's has a mystery feel to it. You get wrapped up in discovering the who's and whys. The only complaint I had with the movie is when Kiefer Sutherland started to express any other emotion than anger or fear. It seemed a little forced. Not really bad enough to detract from the movie, just a little annoying.

Well, I'm running out of Junior Mints so its time for me to give my opinion. Mirrors is one of the best "new" horror movies I have seen. It's scary, gross & a little heart warming. This is a movie that I will be buying this when it comes out. I would recommend this to any horror fan.

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