Rock-a-bye baby.... HOLY CRAP!

Once again I bring you a remake of a cult classic. Now I know I wasn't fond of the original Stepfather, like in the last review but this one is different. I loved It's Alive (1974). It was one of those movies my dad introduced me to. We had a bond over B-movies. Something about that screeching baby mutant just warmed my heart.

I was very interested when I saw that the remake had showed up on my Netflix instant watch. So I might as well give it a shot.

Of course they updated the story. Instead of Lenore and Frank being a married couple, Lenore (Bijou Phillips) is a college girl and Frank (James Murray) is some kind of architect. At first I couldn't figure out why they wanted to change it. Then the plot gods told me.

I digress. They have the baby. It's not normal. Well, it looks normal but its six months premature and bigger than a full term baby. Did I mention when the doctors cut the cord the little bugger went nuts and slaughtered the entire OR? No? Well it did. Only people to survive was Momma and Baby. That's the thing with this kid. It gets scared or threatened it turns into this flesh eating mutant.

Whatever you do, Don't play peek-a-boo with him.

The movie was pretty much the same plot as the original. Well, it was in the same neighborhood as the original. The only thing is it's not a chemical that affects a whole bunch of women, it's Lenore's fault. Not some company. It's her doing.

This wasn't a bad remake. The cg baby of doom was cool and the deaths were pretty gruesome. I don't think it could ever hold a candle to the original. I mean that mutant baby is iconic!!

You can even buy the original baby as a puppet. I got to have this!!

My suggestion is check this out once but go back & watch the original. Much more enjoyable!

RATINGS:

ACTING:

GORE:

HUMOR:

OVERALL: 1/2

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER!!!!

Let me tell you about the first film to ever put me to sleep.

I was about 13 years old and I was looking for a movie at my local video store. The Stepfather caught my eye, recently acquiring a step parent my self, I thought this should be fun.

It wasn't. I got like half way through when I just passed out. Right out. Like a light. Stone cold sleep.

Fast forward to 2009. Hollywood, being the wealth of creativity that it is, decided to remake The Stepfather. So being hopeful that maybe, just maybe, they could make it a bit better I decided to give it a try.

I was wrong.

The Stepfather starts off introducing you to David Harris (Dylan Walsh). In the opening scene you see the aftermath of his killing spree. You immediately know who he is and what he is about. But then again you knew this from the trailer. David moves to a new town and starts looking for another family. He meets Susan Harding (Sela Ward) in a grocery store with her two younger children. He weasels his way into the family and all is right in his psychopathic brain. Until Susan's oldest son, Michael (Penn Badgley), comes home from military school. He becomes suspicious of his soon to be stepfather and questions arise about David's past.

This is pretty much the story. Every time people get curious of David's past, they die. A neighbor, the ex-husband, Susan's random lesbian friend (or she may have been her sister), all dead. And not in creative ways. All of them by some form of asphyxiation.

BORING.

You can pretty much describe the entire movie as boring. I was hoping the family would have been killed. Then there was Michael's blond, vapid girlfriend who was basically always in her bathing suit or undies. I guess they had to throw something in there so the guys would stay interested.

It didn't work for me and I like boobs.

I fell asleep. I really did. I fell asleep. I guess it was just like the original after all.

RATINGS:

ACTING:

GORE:---

HUMOR:---

OVERALL: 1/2 of a skull.