Two creepy children for the price of one!!

Yes folks, it's a blowout bonanza here at the old Macabre Mall. Tonight, just
for you fine folks, is a twofer on evil children!

First off I bring you The Unborn. The story of a girl and her unborn twin. No wait, it's the story of a girl and the GHOST of her unborn twin. Either way, I'm not gonna take too much time to go into the story because the writers didn't take that much time writing it.

Can we say plot holes? I think we can. Shame on you, David S. Goyer

This is the gist. Odette Yustman, who looks a lot like Megan Fox, plays Casey. Casey's eye starts to change color. The eye doctor asks her if she's a twin. She says no, she asks dad. He says yes, but the brother died in the womb. The boy twin, nicknamed Jumby, is now possessing people and causing havoc blah, blah, blah, He's Jumby, Damn it! Some how we work in her crazy momma's suicide, a Grandmother who survived Auschwitz but Casey never knew about her. QUA!?!?

The only bright spot in this entire movie is Gary Oldman. He plays Rabbi Sendak. He was pretty good. But he is Gary Oldman. He's pretty damn good in everything. Sadly he couldn't save this movie, and neither could camel toe.

That's pretty much all I can say about this movie. My advice, if you have to see it download it.

RATINGS:

ACTING:

GORE:

HUMOR:---

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Next up, Orphan. I can sum this movie up with a conversation I had with Will.

Me- "Well. That was.... A movie."
Will- "I'd hope so, be disappointing if it were a giraffe."
Me- "A giraffe would have been more entertaining."

The story of a couple, John and Kate (I am so not kidding. Played by Vera Farmiga and
Peter Sarsgaard) who had a terrible blow when their baby, surprise, dies in the womb. They decide to adopt.

Enter in Esther, played very well by Isabelle Fuhrman. She is a nine year old girl from Russia who has a passion for painting. She immediately wins the hearts of the Coleman's. She is then adopted & whisked away to live happily ever after with her new family, which also consists of a brother, Daniel and a deaf younger sister, Max. And all is well...

That is, until the little psycho goes ape shit.

There is a twist. It said so in the trailer. A twist you would not believe. Unless you're like me. I figured it out from the trailer. I was hoping it wasn't what I figured out. Nope. It was. I won't give it away or how I figured it out, for fear of invoking Dustin's wrath. Let's just say I've seen something prior that had the same twist.

All in all it was a decent movie. The acting was ok, the plot was ok, the twist was sub-par. One person dies on screen and there were 2 parts involving broken bones that made me cringe. Besides those 3 instances there was no gore. Unless you count the bird.

My advice, rent it or wait till it's available for instant watch if you have Netflix.

RATINGS:

ACTING: 1/2

GORE:

HUMOR:---

OVERALL: