And now for something completely different, and yet very familiar...
I have been dreading this since I read that my arch nemesis, Michael Bay was producing the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. I'll tell you why.I was different from all my friends when I was a kid. They all had pictures of New Kids On The Block and the teen star de'jour. Me? I had a life size door poster of Freddy Kruger. I would cut out pics of him from Fango. I was enamored by this monster! A Nightmare on Elm Street was my movie.
I wept openly when I heard of the remake.
Tonight I swallowed my pride and decided to just go for it. I'm not sorry I did. I mean it could have been worse. Billy Bob Thorton was rumored to have been offered the role of Freddy.
"I think your soul would be good with some biscuits and mustard. Maybe some of those french fried potaters. MMM HMMM"
That could have been a DISASTER. Thank heavens for small miracles. Like magnets. It's fuckin' magic. Anyway, back on point.
Freddy Kruger 2.0 was directed by Samuel Bayer. This is Mr. Bayer's first feature. He has mostly been involved in the fine art of music video directing. His directing isn't bad. He's no Wes Craven. Then again, who is? I'm just glad it wasn't edited like a music video. It's scenes are seamless and it flows quite well.
The acting isn't horrible but it isn't stellar either. In the original we got Johnny Depp, in this one we get Kellan Lutz, Thomas Dekker, and in Johnny's role as Nancy's boytoy, Kyle Gallner.
Someone bring Johnny back. None of the guys were memorable. Just eye candy & gore fodder.
The girls in this were better. Rooney Mara played Nancy very well. Meek and unassuming in the beginning and kicking some nightmare ass in the end. Well played indeed. Katie Cassidy was Kris, Nancy's BFF (Tina was her name in the OG ANOES). I must admit she pulled Kris/Tina off as well as Rooney did Nancy. The bedroom scene, while not as intense as the OG was still very good.
Now the big one. Jackie Earle Haley. The man who took over the role as my beloved Fred Kruger. He had some mighty snarky shoes to fill. Robert Englund gave life to the role. He was Freddy. I was terrified that no one could ever play him like Robert did. I was right. Sort of. Haley was a Kruger of another color. Completely different than Robert Englund. He was more creepy with a side of snark. I know that is gonna tick a lot of people off. The reason is we got used to the later incarnations of Freddy. From Nightmare 3 we were given the "Welcome to prime time, bitch" Freddy. This was the beginning of the smart ass Kruger. Lest we forget that he was indeed more creepy and less snarky in parts 1 and 2.
Haley was genius. He was so creepy I sort of felt uncomfortable. Like I needed a shower. He played up the child molester aspect and played down the revenge. You kinda have to over look the voice. If I look away or close my eyes I see Rorschach in my head.
The effects in the movie were pretty good. I was a bit disappointed in the CG Freddy over Nancy's bed. They should have went the OG route and did it with a wall of latex. Much freakier. Freddy's makeup however was SPOT ON. Less wrinkly than Robert Englund's more serious burn victim. Not a ton of gore. Some cuts and open wounds, a few bouts of impalement here and there. Nothing too gory until... well, we'll leave that as a surprise.
All in all not a bad remake. (Curse you Michael Bay. Curse you.)
RATINGS:
ACTING:
GORE:
HUMOR:
OVERALL:
1/2
3 comments:
There it is. I've been waiting for this. Fine review. Very glad to hear the snarky was dialed back a bit. That makes me more interested in seeing this film (I was gonna see it anyway).
"Like magnets." Fantastic.
Emm, I'm still not excited about this remake. =/ I liked the original and don't want to waste my time on a mediocre film. Thanks for the review. You summed up everything I wanted to know about the film.
It wasn't mediocre. It was very good. It wasn't better than the original but it was on par. Mediocre would be the way the guys acted but the movie itself was pretty cool.
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