If I said you had a boring body would you hold it against me?

I have been putting this review off because I didn't know what to say about this film without ripping it apart. I kind of hoped it was going to be good and I could smile and say I had seen a great movie. I kind of hoped I could type the words "You know, Megan Fox did a good job." Sadly, that is so not the case.

I was going to just type "My momma said if you can't say nothing nice..." and just leave it at that. I think I owe you more than 9 words.

Even now, I am really struggling. It was that bad.

OK, Deep breath.

Jennifer's Body was so boring. It had the potential to be a good horror flick. It really did. So much could have been done! Amanda Seyfried was good in it. Her character was kick ass. I really blame this whole fiasco on Megan Fox's inability to act.

Written by Diablo Cody and directed by Karyn Kusama, it could have been much more. For christ's sake Diablo Cody wrote Juno! Maybe Diablo (By the way the stupidest name in Hollywood.) should just write quirky comedy and leave horror to people who know how to write it. Or maybe she is just a one trick pony.

The movie is basically this. Two BFFs go to a bar, the slutty one aka Megan Fox flirts with the band, who thinks she's a virginal cock tease. The cute, nerdy, better actress aka Amanda Seyfried argues and tries to talk her out of it. The bar catches fire. Slutty goes with the band. Cute and Nerdy goes home. Slutty shows back up at Nerdy's house all beaten up and vomiting up pure nastiness. 24 hours later, Slutty is back to her slutty ways and Nerdy is so damned confused. Then boys start to turn up dead.

At this moment I had to go check my ears for bleeding. Megan Fox's fucking baby talk was giving me a migraine and I honestly thought my brain had ruptured.

There was a fantastic fight between Nerdy and Slutty. Then the loose ends are neatly tied up and a little twist at the end. The effects, tho mostly CG, were pretty good. Nothing that you didn't see on the trailer.

I can't believe I sat through this.

RATINGS:

ACTING: (That one lone skull is for Amanda Seyfried who is awesome.)

GORE:

HUMOR:---

OVERALL: